Monks and Bunnies

Monks and Bunnies

(a zen tale )

In a distant monastery, centuries and centuries ago… The monks were very, very hungry. All the supplies they had have already been consumed and they hadn’t much money. Then, they decided to send one of them to the village, to search for food.

“Which monk should go to the village? It’s a long way to go!” – said one of them

“Yes, it’s indeed a dangerous and long path… I believe that the wise man is that who climb this mountain once, the fool man is that who climb it twice, and condemned are the ones who must receive orders to travel it… Do you agree with my philosophy?” – said another monk

“Well, that’s a great idea!” - said the eldest monk. “We’ve been thinking in what we should do with Baldo for a long time, and now, that’s the answer! As a punishment and trial for disobeying basic rules, Baldo should go down this big and awful mountain and get some food for us!”

“Oh, shi… huh, sheep! Ok, ok, I’ll do it, but it’s just because I know what you can do to me if I won’t!” – said Baldo, the most disobedient and aggressive monk. He thought: “Damn… we’re lacking women here!”

Soon after, Baldo started his way down the mountain in search of food. He hadn’t any single coin, and had to think which mean should he use to get food. When he already had walked for almost one kilometer, he met Balddy, one of the most peaceful and dedicated monks. Balddy was playing with some little bunnies while he was looking for fruits. Baldo explained to Balddy what he was send to do and Balddy suggested him:

“Hey, Baldo, I’m trying to find some fruits… Why don’t you join me? Two heads can act speedier than one.”

“Get out of my way, Balddy, you’re searching for fruits for hours and we you have found nothing… Surely, there’s nothing here… I prefer to eat the good and old meat.”

“If that’s what you think… go on.”

Then Baldo continued his journey. He was walking for some minutes when he remembered of Balddy and the bunnies:

“Hm, why must I go to town after food when there’s a lot of meat here I can hunt? I don’t have money and anyway, the villagers would never cooperate… They just look dumb but they know how crook I am and they’re already upset with me.”

Then, Baldo started to search for bunnies and hunt them down…

“Take that, white fag! Take this, red-eyed pest!”

Later, by the nighttime, Baldo went back to the monastery and the monks cooked all those cute bunnies. By that time, Balddy arrived the monastery too, he could catch a lot of tasteful fruits and all the others monks decided to eat what Balddy brought. Baldo wanted so bad to eat the meat that he filthily devoured all the cooked bunnies alone.

Another day has risen, and soon by the morning Baldo was sent to clean the floor near the monastery garden. He saw Balddy sited here and a lot of bunnies around him, playing as they always do. Baldo tried to play the good guy and fool the bunnies to catch them and throw them away. But when he approached the bunnies, all of them ran away… Baldo said to Balddy:

“Hey, Balddy… you must be some kind of saint… Look at how these bunnies approached you that way! They ran away from me…”

“I’m not a saint, yet… The bunnies just know which kind of man them should approach. I never eat animal meat, I never treated them bad… That’s all.”

The Eldest monk appeared and startd to shout: “BALDO, YOU iDIOT!!! WE HAVE JUST DISCOVERED YOUR LAST MISCHIEF!!!”

And then all the monks chased the stupid Baldo…